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How To Text Someone You Just Met- Tips For You When Getting Into A New Relationship

If you’ve just met someone and think there might be chemistry, and feel the urge to build momentum by sending a thoughtful text, here are some tips- dos and don’ts- about texting in a new relationship.

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AfricaCelebrities.com asked our fans about their preference between texting and calling on our Facebook page. And from the responses we had, the majority seem to favour texting to calling.

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So if you’ve just met someone and think there might be chemistry, and feel the urge to build momentum by sending a thoughtful text, here are some tips- dos and don’ts- about texting in a new relationship.

First, lets discuss some things you should consider doing when you begin initiating texts with a potential lover.

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  • 1. Try to stay open to the possibility that the person you’re texting may not be as comfortable as you are communicating emotions via text.
  • 2. Operate under the assumption that even a few words in response from them should not be seen not as a reflection of their feelings, but rather as an acknowledgment that they received your message.

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  • 3. Try to be honest with yourself about your intention in initiating a text exchange. Know that you may be making yourself more vulnerable to rejection when you have expectations for the quality, quantity, and timeliness of their response.
  • 4. Do call. Even though it’s old school. A call can sometimes be your best move. Unlike texting, when the person you’re interested in hears your voice and you hear theirs, you can actually hear tone, pitch, and inflection, which provides you with much more reliable information that texting can.

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Now lets turn our attention to things you shouldn’t do when texting in a new relationship.

  • 1. Don’t obsess over how long it takes to respond. Texting with someone you are interested in does not oblige them to respond in accordance with your timeline. Yes, it is possible that texting a response to you is not their only priority early in the relationship.

And, there are many other possibilities for a delayed response, which is difficult to keep in perspective when interpreting their text through your personal lens.

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  • 2. Don’t text too much personal information too soon (especially not about this or previous relationships). Just because you would appreciate unsolicited personal information from the other person does not mean they feel the same way. 

Remind yourself that with someone new, you don’t yet know their boundaries, their comfort with sharing thoughts and feelings.

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  • 3. Don’t text anything too provocative. When you make the leap into saying things or sharing pics that are intimate or provocative before really knowing someone, there is a good chance that you’re not enhancing but rather sabotaging the possibility of expanding this texting relationship into a meaningful connection in real life.
  • 4. Don’t expect a quid pro quo. When you expect a text in return for your text, you may be sabotaging the connection by placing a burden on the other person to respond in a way that feels validating to you.

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If you do initiate communication with a text that says “just thinking about you,” rather than expecting them to acknowledge your text, picture them reading your text and smiling. The absence of a response does not necessarily mean that the other person didn’t appreciate your message.

  • 5. Don’t jump to rejection. If you send a text describing your heartfelt interest in seeing that person again and they don’t respond, or their response doesn’t match what you expressed, do not think the worst-case scenario. 

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Remember, you do not know this person’s texting style—they might not like texting, or they do not use texting as a tool for communicating emotions.

When a relationship is new, it’s easy to seek validation and connection via text, and when you come up empty-handed, it’s easy to misuse or misinterpret texts in a way that undercuts the developing connection.

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Instead, when you put a text out there to someone new, keep it short and simple. Then, once you’ve put that text out there, try and let it go. After all, you don’t know anyone until you know them

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